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How to Make a Mistake

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Often we feel overwhelmed by a situation. We have done everything right but still our plans go awry. We look around us and blame it on the world. This person screwed me; the conditions were not right; etc. And saying this is fine. Sometimes it might be smarter to drop something and forget about it. But sometimes it may be worth stopping for a moment and looking at the situation, and asking yourself whether you can take responsibility for what happened?

Taking responsibility reveals the lesson

It is only when we take responsibility for something do we provide ourselves the opportunity to change the outcome. If you refuse to look at the outcome and say it was someone else’s fault you will never be able to properly see what went wrong and understand how to solve the problem and learn the lesson. It has been said that “What we resist persists, and what we look at goes away”. So maybe you can see that as you open yourself to something rather resisting it, the problem might fall away when you realize that maybe it wasn’t a problem. Maybe what happened was exactly what needed to occur in order for you to move forward and grow into the person that you dreamed of becoming. We live in a society where we have been taught that to make a mistake is “bad”. We spend our whole lives trying to be right but here is something we all need to learn, being right all the time is actually “bad” and learning how to make a mistake in a constructive way is actually so right you wouldn’t believe.

Mistakes you want to make

It has been shown that taking yourself to the limit where you make mistakes is the greatest way to learn, if you deal with the lesson appropriately. Instead of reacting, slow down. Don’t take the mistake as a failure, as a personal attack on your sense of self-worth, but realize that this is one step closer to reaching your goal. This mistake is not an error but instead an opportunity to learn. The more our minds and bodies create impulses that experience and overcome difficulties, the better we will be able to handle these problems in the future. The better we handle problems, the faster we can deal with them to the point where they are no longer problems but a momentary challenge, just like the way a baby learnt to walk. At first even crawling was a serious problem but eventually the baby learnt how to crawl, and then how to steps. Walking suddenly became only a challenge and ultimately it was so automatic that not only did the baby not have to even think about walking, but as the child grew up it could do things like running and surfing as easily as breathing. Without these mistakes the baby would have never made it past the first step.

Outside of now

So ask yourself could this problem be a part of your lesson in order to reach your goals. Try looking at the situation from a higher perspective, one that is outside of only the present moment. Instead think about what this experience means to you in a year’s time or five years time. Now look back and look at how relevant this problem in the scheme of your life that has been. By looking at the problem at hand as a lesson to learn rather than a mistake, you create your space as the actor not the reactor of your life.

Acting or reacting

When you react, you are reacting from an emotional space. There is a difference between feelings and emotions. You actively generate your feelings. Feelings guide your actions powerfully and are the best space to make decisions from as they come from a place of control and clarity. Feelings can take form when you practice gratitude. Give thanks for what you have and where you are in your life and give thanks for your dream and what you are trying to create. Even try and appreciate yourself. Name five things you are thankful for about yourself. (Learn more about gratitude in “Gratitude gets you Zen Continue reading How to Make a Mistake →

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You and Optimal Systems – Part 2

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The Hypersensitive body

Let’s consider what would happen on the flip side of the creative restorative scales and see what the overly defensive system looks like.  The system that places greater emphasis on the defensive mode can become overly protective in which it ultimately starts attacking itself because it spends all it’s resources towards the defense. It needs to utilize all these defenses that it has dedicated, because the resources that have been designated need to fulfill their purpose. This means that a system that is too defensive can ultimately start attacking elements in the system that are beneficial for it. For instance any foreign element that can be introduced to it such as a piece of food will ultimately be rejected. And a defensive stance will be taken.  This is akin to what is known as the allergic response. An allergic response is when an otherwise harmless environmental substance is introduced into the system and the system has an inflammatory response due to the hyper or oversensitivity to that element. Not all environmental substances, but some that are introduced during a time when the system is on high alert, may be coupled with and from then on, will elicit this hypersensitivity. The body mistakenly thinks it is the foreign food that is what is putting the body into disarray rather than the situation surrounding the person, such as a stressful event.

We have seen this explained by the famous Russian Psychologist Pavlov and his dog, who described the concept of classical conditioning (CC). CC describes a process where an unrelated stimulus such as a bell when paired with a related stimulus such as food will make a dog salivate even when the food isn’t present and only the bell is rung. The same thing happens with allergies. A person’s body goes into a defensive mode when a food element coupled with a stressful event enters their system. Medical professionals may have an explanation for ‘how’ it happens but their ‘why’ never seems to place any relevance to the mind, instead hereditary or environmental factors are blamed. However with the introduction to our understandings of the mind on placebo, stressor-immune response and genetics, we see that there is a viable cognitive model for the mind on allergies.

The Hypersensitive culture

We see this hypersensitivity rear its head in the sociocultural systems as well. Take for instance the great nation of the USA. This system started as a well-functioning and evolving system very similar to an advancing human. It had both the capacity to advance in its understandings but at the same time have in-built a competent defensive functionality that had the ability to protect itself from any foreign bodies with malevolent intent.

I am not condoning aggressive behavior, however as we see in the human body the necessity of having an adequate immune response to invading elements is necessary so too is it worth having an adequate defense force to protect a societal system.

This US sociopolitical system however recently moved into the aforementioned allergic response in which the system put more resources into its defenses. It has ultimately begun to paralyze itself with the defensive stance that it is taking and attacking elements that can lead to greater advancement in the system such as the introduction of new cultures and new ideas into the system. Anything new is seen as a possible attack, treating it accordingly and sending the system into disarray.

This can be described as a fear based system in which the strangle hold on the illusion of what the country had for a certain period of time stops the momentum of progress. A great saying that refers to all elements in life is one to be remembered at this point – Love let’s go and fear holds on. Say it three times and understand it. Love let’s go and fear holds on. We hold on in our bodies, in our relationships, in our sociocultural systems. It stifles the progress and advancement of the evolving system. The system needs to grow otherwise it will feel the wrath of putrefaction born from stagnancy, a space of resisting the flow of life and fighting its current at every turn. So let life flow through you and those surrounding you and you will ride along to new heights.

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Gratitude gets you Zen

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When I was taking some time from my past relationship, I noticed I would feel bad when I tried to not think about her. I felt that this was not an effective method to help me deal with the changing shape of our relationship, for as we know what you resist persists. So I sat there and tried something different. I sent her gratitude for the amazing person that she is, for all the good times that we had and the lessons that she taught me. I immediately felt better and I wasn’t sure why until this moment and this is the lesson that I learnt about part of what gratitude’s power is.

Gratitude keeps us in the present.

Being present is the most important thing. The power in the Now.  In the present moment, the problems and patterns of the past have no avenue to creep in, and they have no way of imposing themselves on the future. When we are in gratitude it is impossible to be in any other moment but the present. Gratitude is an active state of being. It must be consciously acknowledged for it to be gratitude. If we don’t do it consciously it is being “taken for granted”.

We can feel joy unconsciously, like when we are eating something and it makes us feel good. However we can go through the meal without truly appreciating it, without truly being conscious and aware of the meal. That is why we suddenly finish and think, I can’t even remember eating that meal. That poor meal was taken for granted.  Once we acknowledge something and give it thanks, we are living in the present moment of now, and then we are truly living.

Gratitude is the most powerful mediation.

Gratitude is the quickest and easiest way to reach a truly meditative state. The true meditative state is when you can be completely present in the moment. The best way to be present is through appreciation, because you are not limiting anything. You are being completely accepting. Through this unadulterated acceptance, it opens you up to an even greater experience and expression of life. Gratitude is the in-breath of love. When we breathe in, during meditation, and give thanks as well, we are doubling the focus and meditative power of being present. It is for this reason that we can immediately find ourselves in a place of harmony. Harmony occurs not only in our bodies but also with the world around us. The Institute of HeartMath, a research group in California, has conducted studies on the power of using gratitude with breathing meditation.  Their results have been astounding. Through the use of gratitude, it has been shown that many of our biological systems have harmonized finding a physiological resonance that creates a form of visceral symphony. Our heart, lungs, hormones and even our brain all our working to the driving beat of the gratitude playing in our hearts.

Gratitude transforms fear

Unconscious joy is an opportunity lost but not as much as when we are in fear, which is true unconsciousness. Fear results in a true lack of appreciation and a true lack of consciousness. In fear we have no way of being present, instead we are truly locked in the patterns of the past and future and not “being in the present”. Our fear is similar to a fog that we are lost in. When you think of an experience that you are saying no to, that you are resisting, that you say is wrong, you feel it in your body and get lost in a spiral of thoughts.

Thinking those fear thought spirals, perpetuate cycles and reoccurring themes in your life. This is because you fall into the patterns of the past that you experienced when you were younger and your mind takes you down that road trying to protect you. It is inbuilt to humans to have this inclination towards the negative. It evolved for our protection and is referred to as the ‘negativity bias’. The negativity bias means that it is easier to think about the bad things and process them more quickly than the good things. This is so that if the bad things happen we will know what to do quicker to protect ourselves. That is all good and proper when we were cave men but the problem is that now we live in a World where dinosaurs and monsters don’t exist. But our bodies still think they exist so it is constantly trying and create them.

I’ll use horror films to explain this. Isn’t it interesting how in horror films the monster is so much scarier when we don’t see it, but finally when we the monster is revealed, we think, “Is that all?! That’s so fake!” It’s because our minds are programmed naturally to think the worst of the scene and the more we resist it and say “No” to the monster the scarier it gets. But the second we look at it, it immediately loses most of its scariness. The reality of the monster has taken form and thus collapses the infinite possibilities of scariness into only one possibility. It is because of this reason that we also recreate the patterns of our past, because “better the devil we know”. We know how story is going to end when we continually replay the same story and we know that while the monster is scary because we know what form it takes we are more inclined to deal with that monster than the other millions of monsters that can exist out in the world. But if we take a plunge and step into the darkness and unknown we may find that we slay the dragon and find an ending that better suits us.  So a powerful way of navigating through the unfamiliar territory of this new story is send the scary scene “Thanks”. Find all that you can be grateful for in the scene. Be grateful for all the amazing outcomes that can and will happen as you work through the darkness and you will give yourself a light to guide your way to a scene of something that you can love. You can even invite your fears to come along with you and work at your goals together. By doing this you know longer are denying the existence of your fears, which is the best way to let them go because what we resist persists and what we look at goes away.

Use your attitude of gratitude and you will find your way through any dark spot.

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The Limitations of Dogma in Providing the Structure of Truth

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Dogma most certainly has power when it is first formed, but consciousness evolves and grows. Dogma is akin to building a structure of stone to support our understandings of the universe. This is a relevant structure for a time, but then suddenly our understandings of the universe start to grow as our consciousness grows. It continues to grow like civilizations grow and eventually the structure of the dogma is outgrown and no longer is relevant to hold up the people’s beliefs and their understanding of the universe. It is like trying to support a skyscraper with the dogmatic structure of a doll-house. The scales of understanding and growth are much slower for dogma.

Dogma typically is a fairly inflexible structure that does not grow with our understandings of the universe, our new thought, scientific technologies and growth in personal consciousness. Whilst there are many forward thinkers, the ideology itself is very slow to move and grow. Instead people continue to rely on this still and rigid paradigm, as it is something familiar and trusted. Slowly people become aware of how, this structure that dogma has created and that people have come to rely on, is obsolete and so people move on to their next dogma structure.

We see this in effect as people moved from Greek mythology to Roman mythology to the Abrahamic religions and then to Modern Religion of Science. Each dogma is a richer, more reliable, more complex and larger structure that better describes and supports our understanding of nature and the universe. Ancient myth dogma had sacrifice, modern religious dogma had monotheism and Science has the extra-sensory technologies. All these structures provided a way of seeing and experiencing the world as best they could do with the understanding and methods they were building off. As the world’s consciousness expands, as do our understandings, new structures are constantly needed to be put into place to support them. We must realize that while these structures are useful to get a new perspective we must be free to change these structures, flexibly and fluidly, or even tear them down and rebuild them entirely.

The main point is that we can’t be afraid of changing the structures that dogma has put into place. Dogma is an understanding that is giving form to the truth of the time. This structure of understanding will only last so long because we are eternally expanding, as Truth has no form but the form that we give it.