Tag Archives: Ego

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Become a Creator and Thrive through the Hard Times

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When someone speaks ill of you or about something you associate yourself with, they are taking from you. When someone takes something from you, like you dignity or feeling of self-worth, then you want to take back. Often we do this by finding ourselves in an argument or agreeing with them and feeling bad about ourselves. There are two ways in which to work under these conditions in which to grow the most from them. The first is to unidentify from who you think you are and instead realize that you are who you are at that moment. It then hurts because people are creating a split in what you think your reality is versus what they think what reality is and so because of that dissonance we fight to diminish their projected reality in order that we can hold our own as real. We can therefore give no credence to their words or we cannot be attached to our own.

While this can be effective in knowing about our fight for a stable reality, there is another way however that can be more effective and more easily understood and actioned. For this to work we first must consider the age-old law of the Newtonian Universe – every action has an opposite and equal reaction. In other words, by giving you shall receive. This means in these difficult situations in which people are taking from you, you can ensure within yourself that you are not taking but giving through an understanding that they know not what they are creating for themselves. These people will undoubtedly be taken from to balance out the Newtonian equation. It is not for you to be that person to try to rebalance it, but trust that in these actions, there are always consequences in order to rebalance the Universe. Therefore, you don’t always have to be the person that conveys the lesson in what they are doing wrong but show them through your positive way of being how the situation can be. They will experiences the consequences of their destructive behaviour and if you are the person who tries to show it to them it means that you may only be creating an even greater moment of destruction in your own life.

There is always an energy equation in everything that takes place in the Universe and thus will always need to be balanced. When a person expels negative energy out into the Universe this will undoubtedly be rebalanced by the person receiving this energy back. Therefore this provides an amazing opportunity for you to practice compassion Learn more in: Compassion is a Tool to Rule your Heart (http://bit.ly/N0XH6k). In compassion comes an immeasurable act of giving that will unequivocally give back to you ten fold if you can give back to a person that is trying to take from you. When you can transform a negative situation into a positive one, you become a creator. A creator is part of what it means to be an Extropist, a person that changes the spin of the chaotic cycle to one of harmony and greater sophistication. As a creator you work to lift the total energy of this world toward a positive balance. As history progresses we have become ever more complex, sophisticated and conscientious to the point where we will naturally turn the tides from a world that is framed with negative events to one that is ever more connected and harmonious.

So I offer that through these difficult times you find compassion for these types of people who know not what they are doing and find a sense of love for whom they are and the journey they have been on. When you watch a film about a person’s transformation from a bad to a good person, you always see that the hero has been through hell along their journey and so too will the person that is making you feel bad. They are typically fighting a very hard battle with themselves and it just so happens that they are releasing their negativity on you, the obliging person in front of them. So hold strong to the beautiful and powerful person that you are, and understand the consequences of their actions. Instead you can give openly to a person taking and that you can become a creator, who simply in this one act of compassion has helped change the world into a better place.

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The Ego trips

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How interesting the reaction one person can make upon their feelings being hurt. They lash out in some futile manner trying not to heal but instead to harm. They want to take what was taken from them. What is it about an eye for an eye that is so consuming? The ego or personality is a place of immense power and control in our lives. It is thought to exist as personality and contains all the programs necessary to exist in the world. The same way that the muscles around our spine have learnt to compensate for injury in order to keep us standing tall so too does our ego implement behavioral programs in order to protect us. Often though we protect ourselves at the detriment of ourselves because are we really trying to protect ourselves or our ego. Because if our ego fails our world feels like it will all come tumbling down.

Our ego deliciously forms early in life. Some say from before the time of birth, but I like think to about it from the perspective of the rule of 7. The rule of 7 states that approximately every 7 years we move into a new stage of being. The first (0-7) is about learning the social norms and about how we exist in the world. The second (7-14) is our learning of control in the world. This means we understand ourselves relative to another and the power we exert of others. We start to learn about relationships with things and people. The next seven (14-21) further identifies our purpose and inclinations in this world for who we want to be. We can can begin to look at the development of the ego in each of these stages. Our parents and guardians in the first 7 years help guide how we handle mistakes and understand who we are. The ways that we need to act in this world. As we progress we learn from our now friends and family how we are to relate to people and what we get from them. By gaining these wisdoms we define who we are. We ultimately learn to understand ourselves through the actions that we have attained to operate in the world. And when these lines of controlling the world are violated we lash out in order to invalidate the people who are highlighting the way that we know how to live is faulty.

This is the reason why people who subscribe to religion are so vehemently opposed to criticism, because religion explains the meaning of life. The way to operate in life. It explains the finer purpose and gives a definable construct about life and existence in a way that enables a person to feel like they have control. Science does exactly the same thing. It gives us a verifiable way in which to understand life so that we may feel that there are rules that we can follow to survive. That there are lines and objects that we can give definitions to so that we can know what things are and feel safe about them. When we lose that control we lash out. When we feel unsafe we feel alone and vulnerable. That we don’t have a connection to anything or anyone. We want to take the power back in order to provide that stability again to our understanding of life. It is the behavioral programs that provide the feeling of stability and control. But ultimately when we implement the programs we are left feeling more hurt. More empty. a greater level of dissatisfaction. We have maintained the status quo. Our ego is still intact, but at what cost? How do we handle our life in a win-win manner? So what to do?

Well there might be a way. What if the norm wasn’t “an eye for an eye” but instead “human to err, divine to forgive”. We must surely heal and move through the hurt so much smoother if we were to easily be able to forgive. But our ego steps in and asks for it to be recognized. Acknowledge me. See me. Hear me. Tell me that I matter. Tell me that I am real. Well there is another place that we can hear all that and it doesn’t rely on any connection to a person or group it relies on your connection to you and you’re giving to something bigger than yourself. You exist whether someone sees you or not. Whether someone shows you affection or not. It is from that space of connecting to something bigger that we can hold conviction. That we can hold integrity. It relies on trust and faith. In ourselves. In our dreams. I trust in the future and I hope you do too? Thank you.