While flipping through the entertainment pages, I saw that another celebrity had an experience with substance abuse in which they felt their life was spiraling out of control and thankfully gave out a cry for help. Their experience made me think about how we so often are faced with a perpetual stream of challenging situations in our lives. How do we stand the constant barrage of chaos?
The most common way for handling our problems is through unconscious behavior programs that either defend or distract us from the issue at hand. Born from our experiences of the past, these programs are ways we found to protect us from hurt. However such approaches typically only help in the short-term, resulting in the problem resurfacing again and again. We all distract ourselves, some drink, some watch TV, some try a new fad, there are millions of ways to distract ourselves from actually looking at the problems in our lives. But sure enough, until we face our demons they keep knocking on the mind’s door, getting louder and louder. But maybe there’s a different way to respond to our emotions that may serve us better. And there is! It is all dependent on choosing what you C.
Choosing what you C is obviously a play on what you ‘see’ but more importantly it means taking a breath and getting present. Choosing what you C is about creating your life the way that you want it. Creating it from the moment of now rather than the faults of the past. Your life unfolds from two perspectives: Reaction and Creation. When we look at these two words we see that the only difference between them is choosing what you C. When you are coming from reaction, you C what happens after the causal event and then respond to it. When you are an agent of creation, you are the beginning cause that dictates your action.
When a person is overwhelmed with emotion they typically want to remove themselves from the confronting emotions as quickly as possible. Our automatic and unconscious reactionary programs are initiated, which are typically not the most creative and insightful parts of our mind. This is similar to our fight or flight mechanism developed in our ancient mammalian ancestry to protect us from being attacked by a predator on the prairies. But in the modern world it is our ego trying to protect itself from change and the danger of loosing control. Therefore we simply distract and defend as a short-term solution. For example, you attempt a new project in your life but suddenly you have stopped and you weren’t even aware why. Without realizing it boredom, anxiety, worry bubble up to distract you and your emotion knock you off the road from your desired destination to suddenly get lost in the irrelevant.
A more progressive way our life can unfold is through creation. From creation we choose to C from the start and become the creator of our lives. We can be the true creators of our lives by choosing how we experience it. Be the creation, not the reaction. When you are presented with something that produces an emotion that is confronting, don’t immediately react through distraction or defense. Instead give yourself a beat. Pause and create some space. Take a deep breath in and exhale powerfully. Look at the emotion and instead of identifying with it by saying “I am anxious”, change it to “I am FEELING anxious” and then imagine how you want your story to unfold.
This battered celebrity, like so many of us, felt overwhelmed, at times by life, as though it was spinning out of control, and so initiated a behavior program of substance use to distract from the emotions of being overwhelmed about past experiences and future outcomes. Instead of the reaction of distraction, STOP!! Breathe and acknowledge in yourself what would be the ultimate outcome right now. Look to how you want your future to be rather than reacting to the assumptions of the past. Take your time, there is no rush. Give yourself the space and time to acknowledge your needs, because by choosing to C from the start and be the cause of change you will create the life you’ve always wanted.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snD1b-om5xw&w=560&h=315]
Beauty exists even in Chaos, when we take the time to look.